One of those days ...

 It was one of those days again.  The one where I wake up with a gut wrenching feeling in my stomach.  One of those days where all I do is think about my Dad. 

I can't believe its been almost 8 years. I really don't even know how that can be. 
No matter how many days pass, there isn't a single one where I don't think about him.  

His smile.
His laugh.
The way he said, " Kate." 
His sweat pants. 
His work ethic.
His demeanor.
His love. 

Some days are harder than others, but everyday something happens as a painful reminder that he is gone. 

Its hard to explain how you feel about death to those who have never experienced it.  Even to those who have experienced it, its hard to talk about.  For me at least. 

 I feel like I have tried to burry the fact that he is gone underneath my skin; but like a prisoner plotting to escape, the thoughts of him creep forward in my mind countless times in a day.

 I work hard, I play harder and I try to enjoy every bit of life I have been given, because I know that's what he would want.  I've always appreciated my experiences, and found beauty in things most people wouldn't, but since my dad's passing, I have to say; I love and laugh harder, I stare at the mountains, sunsets, and sunrises longer, and I am even more thankful for every breath I take.  I do all of these things because I now know too well, that we can loose everything in an instance.  

With no warning at all, everything can disappear...

K. 

Rainy Sevenberry Sangria

I woke up this morning with the worst tummy ache.  Hands on my belly, taking in meditative breaths, I could hear the rain lightly tapping on my window.  All i wanted was to fall back asleep as the dim grey light of morning peered through my chestnut colored curtains.  I knew my morning tea would be the answer to cure my quivering belly; so with one last deep breath and placed my feet on the cold, wooden floor, grabbed my bathrobe, and headed for the kitchen.

I'm a big believer in herbal medicine and recently have become more interested in creating my own teas and tinctures.  Being someone who can't swallow pills, I have always taken the homeopathic road when it comes to illness.  This morning decided a mix of Elderberries, Peppermint, Hibiscus flowers, Black Currant, and Green Rooibus were in order. 

     The smell of the tea loose in my hand is sweet and enticing! I know as soon as the Roobius enters my body, my tummy will feel healed and my day can finally start. 

     It's hard for me to get motivated on a rainy day, so after this warm cup of herbs is finished steeping, some light reading is in order followed by a day of home projects and crafts. No better way to spend a Sunday.  

K.